In fact, we can’t remember much of anything. When our memory is compromised like this, we can’t recall something from the past that might help us calm down. Have you ever been in a fight with your partner or friend, and you literally can’t remember a positive thing about them? It’s as though the brain drops the memory function altogether in an effort to survive the threat. Further ReadingĪnd if that wasn’t enough, our memory becomes untrustworthy. As our attention narrows, we find ourselves trapped in the one perspective that makes us feel the most safe: “I’m right and you’re wrong,” even though we ordinarily see more perspectives. Complex decision-making disappears, as does our access to multiple perspectives. The active amygdala also immediately shuts down the neural pathway to our prefrontal cortex so we can become disoriented in a heated conversation. These sensations are not exactly pleasant - they’re not meant for relaxation. We are in the grip of a highly efficient, but prehistoric set of physiological responses. We may notice heat flush our face, our throat constrict, or the back of our neck tighten and jaw set.
The flood of stress hormones create other sensations like a quivering in our solar plexus, limbs, or our voice. Our breathing becomes more shallow and rapid as we take in more oxygen, preparing to bolt if we have to. When this deeply instinctive function takes over, we call it what Daniel Goleman coined in Emotional Intelligence as “amygdala hijack.” In common psychological parlance we say, “We’ve been triggered.” We notice immediate changes like an increased heart rate or sweaty palms. Stress hormones like adrenaline and cortisol flood our system, immediately preparing us for fight or flight. When we perceive a threat, the amygdala sounds an alarm, releasing a cascade of chemicals in the body. Bessel Van Der Kolk, in his book The Body Keeps the Score, calls this the brain’s “smoke detector.” It’s responsible for detecting fear and preparing our body for an emergency response. We have two amygdala, one on each side of the brain, behind the eyes and the optical nerves. But our basic impulse to protect ourselves is automatic and unconscious.
In our modern context, we don’t fight like a badger with a coyote, or run away like a rabbit from a fox. We are groomed by evolution to protect ourselves whenever we sense a threat.
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